“They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us” (1John 2:17).
Have you ever done something and then wished that you had not? Maybe, let me ask the question another way...
Have you ever looked up a longtime friend and then wished that you had not? Yes. I know that you understand! Well, that happened to me recently.
When I begun the walk into fulltime ministry, I was confused but determined to ‘do this’...that is after running from GOD like Job did! Besides, GOD had made it quite clear that He was going to close all other doors if I did not walk into this one and that was settled! In other words, even though I would have considered to run some more, I would not have had any doors to run into! Therefore, I chose the only and much better option – to go with GOD’S plan for my life.
Now, when GOD walked in, He came with a number of changes and one of them was a name change. Even though the name change was very welcome to me, it was not that welcome to many. Some tried to convince me to continue carrying my father’s name and to answer to my Muslim first name that GOD had wisely replaced! They pushed and prodded as hard as they could, giving me so many reasons that I honestly did not care about. The woman that I contacted, recently, was one of them. Due to this, I was so unhappy with her during that time of transition that I stopped all communication with her and somehow lost her number over the years. For a while there, I believed that I had been petty and that I should not have been angry with her. I also believed that I should have stayed in touch with her by visiting her office as I used to. Nonetheless, the memory of our last conversation (years back) was enough to make me stay immobile where our friendship was concerned. At that time, all that I had needed was support and understanding but all that I had received from her was thinly veiled rebuttal and accusations! Therefore, even though I would often think about her over the years of her absence in my life, I was not motivated enough to look for her.
However, a few days back, I happened to be on gardens that house her offices and I made it to her office. Not finding her there, I requested for and received her telephone contact and got in touch with her. I must say that she was worse than when I had left her! She was so negative that only a few seconds into our conversation, I was wondering why I had gotten in touch with her in the first place. Actually, I could not wait to get off the phone by the time we ‘said our goodbyes’.
Finally, I knew. I got the revelation that the season for our friendship ended long time ago! In fact, when GOD made those changes, some people had to go so that I could carry my new name with others who had not known me then. I also learned that not everyone will understand your ‘GOD walk’, therefore, do not labor to explain it to them. Simply ignore them, when in their presence, or move on from them as you take care of kingdom business. It is more important for you to do what you have been called to do, the way you have been called to do it including the changes that GOD has seen fit to bring about into your life instead of trying to fit with people who do not understand you anymore.
I also learned that she would probably never change so I either had to keep away from her if I could or I had to mature so much that nothing she would ever say would ever destabilize me again. I chose to stay away.
I also admitted that I had been right to let her go the first time round and very wrong to try to ‘reconnect’ with her! Granted, we had needed each other several years back but that season is over now. Of course, I will still love her but I will also be alert to the fact that Christ changes things when He walks in and that I am one of the things that He changed. You see, my former friend is still the same person - I was the one who was changed! Therefore, I cannot expect her to change with me...that would be selfish!
It is also important for us to be wise enough to understand that, sometimes, GOD separates us from people because they did not belong with us. If they had belonged with us, they would have stayed with us but they went out from us! Therefore, they did not belong here!
Consequently, I urge you to be wise enough to know that some people will not be the understanding friends that they once were now that you are walking according to GOD’S plan for you. Accept it and leave that door shut.
Almighty GOD, I thank you for the many friends that you gave me before I accepted your call on my life. However, I now realize that that season of my life is over. Please give me the insight to realize that before trying to reconnect with them. I thank you, LORD, because you have done it. In Jesus’ name, I have prayed, amen.